Three Lessons (aka Whoops!)

Today, I am taking some cues from Emily, and turning my whoops moments from the past week into a how to post for you. You're welcome.

When making smoothies... Do not put the bamboo spoon into the blender while it is mixing, chopping or stirring. This will cause the blender to take a chunk out of the spoon, while simultaneously bending the blades of the 13-year old machine. In addition, orange smoothie will splatter all over the kitchen, into your hair, and onto your face. Luckily, you will not have gotten dressed for work, so only your robe is covered with the mess. As a result of the spoon in the blender incident, you will be forced to fish wood shards out of your smoothie prior to drinking it. 
THE UP-SIDE You will be asking for, and hopefully receiving, a new blender for Mother's Day!

When attending your daughter's audition... Avoid taking a water bottle or any other item that may make a loud noise when dropped on the floor. This is especially important when you are not supposed to be watching said audition. Hiding in the corner, behind the curtain, is only effective when you don't drop a water bottle, causing everyone, including those auditioning to look your direction. 
THE UP-SIDE Your daughter was not actually the one auditioning when you dropped the bottle, so she still doesn't know that you saw her performance!
When participating in blogger giveaways... Pay close attention to which blogger has won which prize. Creating a separate email folder for each giveaway and/or creating a spreadsheet may be helpful. If you had created such an organizational system, you may have avoided sending two prizes to the same person. 
THE UP-SIDE Holly gets to shop at Forever 21 while drinking her Starbucks!
Have any whoops moments you want to share?

Expecting

It was May 2002. The first Mother's Day after my miscarriage. Such a difficult day.

M and I did not live near our family at that time. So, we were traveling to visit our mothers that weekend. Friday, before we left, I took a pregnancy test, hoping that I would be pregnant. The test was negative. I was disappointed, devastated. Because, even though I had tried hard not too, I had built up the excitement of being pregnant for Mother's Day. I expected to be.

I sat in church that Sunday in pain. Not a physical pain, but an emotional one. Some people knew. Others didn't. But, no one said anything. That was okay. I didn't want anyone to. Even though the words would have been intended for comfort, I knew, because of how I felt, that they would have seemed empty and meaningless.

I wish I could say that God spoke to me that day. That he met me in my grief and disappointment. But, he didn't. Maybe because I didn't let him. I struggled that day. It seemed like I deserved to, even though, looking back, I know that I didn't.

Fortunately for me, my story had a happy ending. I was pregnant that weekend. The pregnancy test I took later that week was positive, and nine months later I experienced the birth of my oldest daughter.

As Mother's Day approaches for this year, I have been thinking a lot about my friends who are struggling with infertility or those who have lost their children to death. Those who desire to be mothers and those who are mothers to children who they can no longer hold or hear say, I love you.

These women are on my heart. This weekend we recognize mothers, and because of their situations, that celebration will be painful. I do not want to speak meaningless or empty words here. I simply want to recognize the brokenness and respond with God's love.

I am praying this week for my friends. And, I am asking you to do the same. Pray for someone you may know personally or generally for "women who are experiencing infertility" or "mothers who have suffered loss."

Expect grief. Pray for miracles. Experience peace.

Being a Mother {Self-Interview}

As you know, May is the month we celebrate Mother's Day. Four fabulous lady bloggers came up with a way for us to showcase our own special mommy moments and the mothers in our lives!

For this week's post, I was to interview myself by asking and answering the following questions: 

Before you ever even had children, how did you feel about being a mother?

Being a mother was not something I had dreamed about. I thought I probably would be a mom, but it was never my focus. I loved children and was gifted in working with them.  

After M and I got married, I began to feel the desire for our kids. 

I was no longer satisfied  working with other people's children. 

When I was pregnant with our oldest, I was fearful about how I would handle being a mother. 

I was afraid that I was going to be too uptight (which I am more than I should be) or that I wouldn't know what to do (and, I still don't).

For each of my pregnancies, though, I loved my babies from the first instant I knew about them.

BORN:  JANUARY 2003

Since becoming a mother, what is something 

that has happened that you never thought would?

As my kids have gotten older, I have become increasingly bothered by how other people treat them. I will admit that I have felt the desire to give a stern lecture to other people's children or to the parent, themselves, about their behavior toward my child. The anger that rises up in me is nothing like I felt before I had kids, and it surprised me the first time it happened.

BORN:  APRIL 2005

Is being a mother less difficult, more difficult or 

exactly how difficult you imagined?

Being a mother is nothing like I imagined. And, exactly like I imagined. Although I expected difficulties, I am still discouraged on the days when it seems too difficult. It's on those days that I feel as if I'm failing them.

When my oldest was a baby, I remember watching an episode of Oprah in which several women talked about what a great joy is was to be a mother. I remember thinking, what am I doing wrong? Why don't I feel THAT joyful. It hasn't been until recently that more women people have started talking about how difficult motherhood really is. 

Is it great to be a mother? Yes. Am I always joyful about it? No.

Being O's mom brings me both pleasure and pain and was infinitely more difficult than anything I could ever have imagined, especially during the first two years of his life.

My kids are a gift to me. When I take the time to really look at them, I am in awe of the fact that God has entrusted me to raise them.

BORN:  APRIL 2008

What is your fondest memory of being a mother (so far)?

With three kids, it's hard to pick one moment or a single memory. The first time they each said, mama or I love you or gave me a kiss. Those were amazing moments.

In general, what makes me the proudest is receiving compliments about my kids. When other people tell me amazing things my kids have done, particularly in an area where growth was needed or when it's related to their character or love of others, I am blown away by them. Those things are forever embedded into my mind and have become the fondest memories.

If your children only learn one life lesson from you, what do you hope it is?

Love God and love others. Those are the greatest commandments.

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