I have been writing notes on this post for months, but never seemed to have enough thoughts together to make sense of it. However, in the past few days, I have found two quotes that have brought it all together for me. I hope it makes sense to you...
I am not what you would consider an addict, in the true sense of the word. But, I believe that I have the potential to become addicted to people, things, or activities. It is part of my genetics, personality and experiences.
Although my parents are not addicts, I have many relatives who fell victim to addictions, to alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc. For this reason, I made a conscious decision not to drink alcohol and to stay away from activities where the potential for addiction was high. Why? Because while I believe that there are many choices addicts make, I also believe that part of becoming addicted is out of our control.
As a student of psychology, I have exhaustively studied the nature versus nature debate. Is who you are based on your genetics or your environment? While there are strong arguments on both sides, I don't think it's an either or. It's both.
What makes someone an addict? One definition of addicted is to occupy (oneself) with or involve (oneself) in something habitually or compulsively. Using this definition, I have been addicted to many things in my lifetime. I have let things like exercise and weight control consume me. I can be a compulsive hand-washer. I spend way too much money at Starbucks.
I have a personality that is destined to be obsessive. I understand this about myself. I can take something small and simple and turn it into something big and complex, just by thinking about it too much. That's why, long ago, I took a good look at my genetics and made choices based on what I know about my family.
The only thing I want to become obsessed with, or addicted to, is Jesus. I want to spend so much time reading the Bible and talking to God that I can't think of anything else, but His truth and can't experience anything else, but His grace.
Everyone of us who embraces the glory of God as our purpose will end up doing great things, precisely because because we do God-things. His holy hand resting on the least act renders the ordinary extraordinary.
Beth Moore, Esther
To steer my obsessiveness toward something extraordinary and divine...that is my goal.
