What's the Point?

We just finished a week of Vacation Bible School. The title of this week's VBS was, "The Jesus Expedition." Synonyms for expedition include, long journey, voyage, and trek. Here's the story of our journey...


I have worked VBS nearly every year, for as long as I can remember...at least 20 years. And, each year I've served, it's been with preschool-age children. As VBS approached this year, I found myself thinking, what's the point? Why am I doing this, again? Much of my apprehension was because I had decided that, this year, O would go to VBS with the girls and I. After all, he is 4, which is the official starting age of VBS.

But, thinking about what that meant...five late nights in a row, every night in a different room, a different craft, a different snack, a different set of people giving instructions...I thought, again, what's the point?!

Even, as I showed up the first night, and saw that there were four adults instead of the usual two, working with the preschoolers, I thought, what's my purpose? What am I doing here? It quickly became evident to me that I was there for one reason, and that was for my son. Because, he needed me. He needed me to take him to every site each night, before it was time for the group to enter. He needed me to bring him a snack that he would eat and to support him when he wanted to try something new. Being needed that much, was hard work!

There were many nights during the week that O and I both came home crying. O saying, "I don't want VBS. I want my regular church." And me, thinking, wishing he would just eat the same snack, so that he wouldn't look different. That he would just wear the shirt, so that he would look the same as all the other kids. Wondering again, why was I doing this, to both of us. Why was I putting us through this? It was one of the most challenging weeks. To watch him struggle and to work on figuring out how to help him.

But, a sobering conversation with my husband after the third night, led me to realize that although it was a struggle, it was something I had to do. That, I can't avoid life. I can't avoid things that may be difficult. And, I can't continue to limit O. Because there may be a day when he surprises us. And, even though I know that differences exist, at least I'm aware of them. I needed to work with these differences and not let them define us!

But, I also had to realize, that there may be some things that I can't do. That there may be some things that I can't change or fix. And, while I'm not going to put O in every available activity, and I'm not going to take him to every party or every event, there are times when I have to. And, there are times when I should. These are experiences he needs, that I can't recreate or make as meaningful within the context of our family of five.

And, let me tell you...at the end of the week, on Thursday night, there was a performance. Although O didn't go on that stage, with the nearly 150 other kids, and he never wore the VBS shirt, he did sit on my lap in the audience, watching the other kids sing. And, at the top of his lungs, he sang:

Jesus you alone have the power
Power over everything

Every day and ever hour

Your great power is supreme

You have power over everything

And, really, isn't that the ultimate point?

Running to Finish, Not to Win

Try to fit the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy.
- Free to be Me by Francesca Battistelli -

It's time for me to admit that I'm a perfectionist. I would prefer that I made no mistakes and those who know me well would say that I have difficulty admitting it when I do. My parents didn't demand perfection from me as a child, but I demanded it of myself. One of the most difficult things for me to accept, at the time that it occurred, was getting my first "B" in high school, as a junior, and ruining my chances of being a valedictorian.

Even though I know that I am not perfect, I continue to struggle with being unable to achieve perfection. This is particularly disturbing as I attempt to put the pieces of my life together. When a piece doesn't fit the first time, my tendency is to abandon the piece all together. It must not be a part of this picture. Or, if I am unable to see the image on the piece clearly, wondering "How will this fit?"

For example, when I began formatting this blog, I was frustrated by learning the blogger language and had trouble with the daunting task finding a look and concept that made sense. I thought many times about giving up, telling myself that I was crazy to even attempt this. How did this blog piece fit into my life? Although the answer is still unclear, I push forward, twisting and turning the piece until it fits. Because, ultimately, I have faith that it does fit.

I believe that I am supposed to be here, writing, for myself and for those who choose to read. It is also my belief that although I will never be perfect, as defined as faultless and supreme, I can be perfect, as defined as suitable or well-done. (There I go with the synonyms again...just love the thesaurus!)


On Easter Sunday the pastor of my church spoke on Hebrews 12:1-3. He made a statement that stuck with me, he said we are not "running to win,  we're running to finish." So, I encourage you, as I was encouraged, to "move forward" and "endure."

... let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. 

And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us...

- Hebrews 12:1 (NIV)

His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! 
You have been faithful with a few things; 

I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!' 

- Matthew 25:21 (NIV)