Yesterday turned out to be a pretty lousy day. After I got home from work, I tried to push aside the stress from my day, and get lost in the busyness of family life. But, I could not let it go. The stress of the day was too much. I had a headache and fell asleep shortly after the kids were in bed.
Unfortunately, a good night's sleep did not cure my foul mood. I woke up this morning still thinking about the situation that had caused me so much grief yesterday. I was distracted during my morning workout, thinking of all the things I could have said, but hadn't.
Words. It was the words that were said to me yesterday that I couldn't get out of my mind. They were hurtful, with intention, and were still hurting me hours later.
I knew I couldn't think about these words all day...it would just lead to more stress and make for another lousy day. So, on the drive to work, I began praying. I asked God to reveal to me why these words had hurt me so much, why I couldn't let them go. I knew it wasn't because they were true. So, why did it bother me so much?
What I discovered was that, even though I knew that I had not done the things I had been accused of, the fact that someone thought these things about me was incredibly crippling. I could not move beyond these words because they were an attack on my character.
Maybe I wanted to share this with you because I want you to know how much your words can impact others. It is why I am so careful with the words I use, especially as a Christian, as I am representing God.
Maybe it's also to say that, while I do not believe we should base our worth on the opinions of others, what people think of us is important. I have had countless discussions with my girls on this topic, explaining to them to that, even if they didn't intend to be hurtful, if someone else feels they were being hurtful, they need to apologize. Perceptions do matter.
As I think about yesterday, and how I responded to those words, I realize I should have apologized. Not because I had done anything wrong, but because that is what was perceived. I don't know that it would have changed the situation or even that it would have been appropriate in the context of our meeting, but I should have said something. If for no other reason, in the hope of changing one person's perspective of me.
Any thoughts?
