I have written before about my difficulties with friendships and about finding friends in unexpected times and places.
Right now, more than any other time in my life, I feel like I have an abundance of friends.
Among those friends are you, the people I've met here. People I may never have seen in person, but whose stories and families I know as well as my own.
Other friends, I have known since childhood. And, although we live far apart in distance, we stay connected through messaging, Facebook, and good, old-fashioned snail mail.
Some I have connected with through church, which means they are like-minded and can hold me accountable.
Still others, are those I've met through my kids, but have become some of the most precious, because they are the ones God has called me to support and encourage.
On Saturday morning, I took a walk. As I walked, I began praying for my friends. I prayed for their difficult circumstances, for their current struggles, etc. And, I as I did, I wept. I found that I could not control my tears. I was broken, not because of my own hurts, but because of theirs. It felt amazing, to feel so much love for so many, that I could do nothing but weep and pray for God's love to wash over them.
I have often felt discouraged because I do not have a best girlfriend, I rarely participate in "girls night out" events, I am often left out of the impromptu get-togethers, and am rarely anyone's first choice. I have always thought that this made me less of a person, a less important friend. But, what I have realized is that friendship doesn't look the same for everybody.
For me, it looks something like this:
- being sought out for advice and support
- being invited to join a bible study with girls that I have never even met
- kind words sent in a birthday message
- an email or comment thanking me for my encouraging words
- a birthday message to my son
- a postcard in the mail
- being asked to pray for someone
- a tweet about my ability to spread the message of God's love
Thanks, friends...for all of these things, and more!
2 comments:
Wow. And here I was thinking I'm the only woman in the world without a "best" girl friend or a consistent "girls night out".
I sometimes feel like the forgotten friend. I used to feel bitter because sometimes I thought I was being "used"- only contacted for support, encouragement, prayers. Rarely did anyone reach out to me to see how I was doing.
Over the past few years I've learned who my real friends are, through some painful experiences. Like the time none of my friends came to my wedding shower. Or my baby shower. Or even my wedding! A few said they'd make it, but never showed. I had a few completely empty tables, already paid for, because "friends" decided not to show.
I realized that I needed to stop expecting things from people and just love them. I understood that not everyone will love me back as much as I love them. Not everyone I call a "friend" will think of me the same way. And I think I'm OK with that now.
I have God and my husband to love me back. I have my family and 2 really close girl friends (one is a cousin!). I know a lot of people and have developed relationships with a handful of other women, but not enough that I'd consider us friends. And again, that's OK with me.
Thanks for sharing your heart and allowing me to share mine. Your posts are always thought provoking for me =)
i've always struggled with frienship throughout middle school until about a year or so ago. I love what you said about friendship looks different for each person - i wouldn't have been able to put it like that but I think that is what i eventually learned. and i am so thankful for the friends I've made through blogging, like you! :)
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