Settled, Shattered, Seeking

There is fragility in everything. Potential for brokenness. In relationships. In family. In marriage.

Did you know that you can hold an egg in your hand, squeeze it with great force, and it will not break. Not unless you are wearing a ring or have something else in your hand that creates a specific pressure point. It is that point of force, that is different from the rest, that causes the egg to break. I wouldn't have believed it, except I've seen it done.

"The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. 

My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life." (Jesus' words in John 10:10)

I'm fairly certain that this is my first post about marriage. And, there probably won't be many more. Because, although I have revealed countless personal stories here, I've never felt right about letting you into my marriage. Even now, I will speak very generically, in hopes of getting my point across without speaking about that which is too personal, too intimate.

M and I attended our first marriage seminar last weekend. It was presented by Thrive in Marriage. While much of what was presented I had either read or heard before, there were also many new concepts and insights that were presented, focusing on the Biblical perspective of marriage, which I have been meditating on and have been attempting to put into practice.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)

The weeks leading up to this seminar had been rough. There was division and disconnection in our marriage. There were pressure points that threatened to shatter what we had come to know. We had spoken of our differences and had committed individually to pray for our marriage and our family. To seek guidance for our vision, our purpose as a couple and as a parenting team.

So, it was very interesting to me when the first topic on the first night of the seminar was titled, The Power of Vision. As part of being engaged in this vision, the leader described seven necessary components. Three of these seven, that resonated the most with me, were...eagerness to do God's will, obedience to God's challenges, and living in love of others.

Why is this so interesting, so enlightening? I have been writing about seeking God's will, being obedient to his challenges and loving others. I had also been asked to write a guest post on how loving my neighbor begins at home. But, I had really not thought about these things in the context of my marriage. While I had shared my visions and inspirations with M, I had not considered how these could be our visions, not just my own.

Through this seminar, I also discovered how much my opinion matters to my husband. How much my words and actions impact him. Where do these words and actions begin? With my beliefs. With what I choose to see. Therefore, I must believe God's opinion of my husband. So, how does God see my M? The same way he sees all of us who have chosen to follow Him. To Him, we are holy and dearly loved. Righteous. Saints. Warriors, clothed in His armor. And, nothing can separate us from His love.

When we start looking at our spouses, kids, friends, enemies, even ourselves, this way, there is huge potential for change. I've experienced it.

One of my former college professors and a spiritual mentor wrote this recently, "There is a crucial difference between acceptance of the will of God and resignation. Resignation says, 'This is my situation. I can do nothing about it...' Acceptance of God’s will says, 'True this is my situation at the moment...But I will open my hand to accept willingly whatever a loving Father sends knowing that He will work this for my benefit in the long run. The best is yet to be.' Accepting the will of God never slams the door on hope."

I had resigned myself to the fact that our marriage, our family, was all it could be. There was no point in changing it. While it wasn't perfect, it was comfortable. But, it's not okay for us to live comfortably. Our life should be abundant, as God designed it, and we should fulfill our obligation to love and bless others. We need to choose power and possibility. Not just as individuals, but as a team.

MY WARRIOR. DEARLY LOVED.

Linking up with Love is a Choice.