Conversations with God

Prayer is not something I do with ease. In fact, the desire and ability to turn to God in prayer has not always existed in me.

It was at least two years ago that I went through a faith/prayer crisis. (I think I touched on this in another post, but I couldn't find it when scrolling through my archives. So, forgive me if I am repeating myself). During this period, I felt like prayer was useless, and, consequently, did not talk to God much. Here were some of the feelings and questions I wrestled with:

Since God is all-knowing, He knows what's going to happen. Why do I need to pray if the outcome is already set?

Who am I that my prayer would change God's mind? He's already got a plan.

Praying for someone or something is frustrating, especially when I don't get any answers.

I kept these feelings and questions to myself for a long time. When I finally talked with M about these things, he was at a loss. He was concerned. He talked with our pastor and came home with some insight related to my doubts about prayer. I don't remember exactly what was shared. I know that I still had questions. However, despite those lingering doubts, I began talking to God again. 

Since then I have seen many changes in my prayer life. However, prayer is still not my go-to. It is rarely the first option I think of when I have a problem, issue or praise. Additionally, I often get distracted when I pray and end up focusing on the wrong things. For example, yesterday I found myself wanting to surrender all the craziness of my day to God, but each time I tried, the all that I was trying to release kept coming back to me in the form of a massive to-do list. 

Last week we began studying prayer in our Sunday school class. We are reading through the devotional Love to Pray, by Alvin Vandergriend. As I began reading through the book, I knew that God had intended this study for me. The answers to my questions, that I had been searching for two years ago, are in this study. 

Here are some of the insights from the first two weeks:

God needs our prayers. God chooses to move in response to our prayers. "Though he is almighty, all-wise, and fully able to work without us, God chooses to work through our prayers." (p. 16)

Prayer starts with God. If we allow Him, God can make known to us what He desires for our prayers. We should start each prayer by asking God what He would have us pray. "...to pray is to learn to listen to God's whispers, to tune our hearts to him, to respond to his promptings." (p. 13)

You are welcome. God wants us to come into his presence for prayer. We are welcome there, because he recognizes us. He knows us. Though "we deserve to be barred from God's presence because of our sins...Christ has dealt with our sins and made us acceptable to God." (p. 18)

Have faith. When we have faith in God, we have knowledge of who He is, what He is like, and we trust that He will act in a certain way. Praying in faith "involves believing that God will always respond to our prayers in accord with his nature, his purposes, and his promises." (p. 24)

Pray with persistence. Prayer is not always easy, but we should not give up. "To pray persistently is to press our requests upon God with urgency and perseverance." (p. 30)

Always, keep praying. 

Never stop. 

No matter how difficult it may seem. Even if you have unanswered questions. Prayer is a gift we have been given, so that we can develop a deeper relationship with God. That is important. We have the ability to have continual conversations with God. Get a conversation started. Keep it going.