Going Forward

It's hard for me to believe that today is the last day of the 30-Day Faith/Scripture Challenge. I have been so blessed this month by all of the scripture finding and sharing. It has been wonderful to fall in love with new passages and breathe new life into some old favorites. 
I am so grateful to Cat at This Little Life of Mine for starting this link-up and challenging me to engage in the Bible daily.
The theme for today is going forward.  In light of my post on Thursday about self-image, I chose this verse from Ephesians to go with today's theme...

I wrote a poem in response to this verse several months ago. You can find it here. 
You are God's masterpiece. Believe it. Live it.

LINKING UP WITH

Family Ties

I write a lot on this blog about my current family, the one that includes my husband and three children. But, I haven't yet talked about my original family, the one from which I came. The parents who raised me and the sisters who grew up with me. Today's post is dedicated to them.
First, I thought I would share some photos of my family, through the years. As you can clearly see, I have never been fond of having my picture taken. Also, isn't fun to see how the styles have changed over the years?

1978     //     1990     //     1994
1983     //     1988     //     1997

My parents were married in April of 1974, nearly 39 years ago. I came along in March of 1975. Then, my sister J in October 1977, and, finally, K in October 1982. When you think of the typical stereotypes regarding birth order, we are it - the overachiever, the peacemaker and the rebel. Obviously, there is more to each of us than this single trait, but it is amazing to see how the theory of birth order has materialized in our family.
The things about my family that I am most grateful for all revolve around the word love. That may sound cliche...but it's the truth. My family experience taught me how to love God, love in marriage, and love one other.
Love for God. My parents both came from a background in Catholicism and grew up learning about God. As an infant I was baptized. But, as my parents have said, they needed more. They were searching for a relationship with God. They both became Christians early on in their marriage, and shared with us the importance of developing a relationship with Christ, rather than simply going through the motions. (I hope not to offend anyone with this. It just happens to be my parents' experience).
We always attended church, prayed together as a family, and made serving God a priority. I know that not all families are like this. I was blessed to have had this experience, to be raised by Godly parents and to realize the importance of having a relationship with Jesus at a young age. I first realized my need for a savior at age 7.
Love in marriage. My parents did not and do not have the perfect marriage. I really don't think there is such a thing. But, I've always known that they love each other. They were never shy to show modest affection. And, they often showed their love by doing kind things for one another. I learned a lot about marriage by watching them.
Love for each other. Over the years, I have never doubted my parents love for me. Even during the times when I needed rebuking or when we didn't agree, there was always love. As a family, we have supported each other, even when poor decisions were made. We have wept together and prayed for each other in desperate times. Even today, I know that I can call on my parents or my sisters and they will do or be anything I need.
I was not born into a perfect family, but it was a family that was designed for me by God. My family. 
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. - 1 Thessalonians 5:11{scripture challenge, day 29:  relationships}

Linking up with Family Fridays

From Psalms {Scripture Challenge}

Forgive Me

Today's word for the scripture challenge is forgiveness. That is a huge topic. With all that has been going on in my work and family, lately, I didn't feel prepared to tackle the topic of forgiveness in a single post. 

But, since I have been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately, and feeling guilty about not giving 100 percent to every area of my life, I decided to link up with "It's Okay" Thursday, as a way offering myself a little forgiveness.

It's okay that...

...it has been well over a month since I have done exercise of any kind.
...we ate the same meal for dinner three nights in a row.
...my attempt at dinner last night was a semi-failure. While the meat was cooked the potatoes and carrots were still raw.
...I have not started working on O's selective eating, even though I wrote a post in September about how I was ready to get started.
...I am putting off asking for sponsors on my blog because I'm worried that no one will be interested.
...I have still not created a Twitter account.
...I am having a get-together at my house on Saturday and I have not thought about the menu or had time to clean my house.
...my favorite pair of black boots are falling apart.
...I am participating in a least five giveaways in the three weeks, four within this week alone. Two have posted so far, here and here. Two more coming soon.
...only 25 percent of my Facebook followers ever see my posts.
...I have two books waiting to be read, but I can't seem to find time to finish the one I am currently reading.

Give yourself a break today, too. Because...it's okay.

Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all. - Psalms 65:3 (NLT)

LINKING UP WITH

What Can I Do?

In early November I wrote a post about my struggle with feelings of inadequacy. These feelings were based on my inability to live up to others' expectations of me and even those that I had placed on myself. But, what about God? What does He expect of me? What can I do to be good enough for Him?

The simple answer is...nothing. There is nothing we can do that will make us good enough for God. Isn't that wonderful? He loves us, seeks us and calls out to us, despite our brokenness. Maybe, even because of it.

So, why do anything? We should do, not because it gets us in better favor with God, but because we love Him and we want to share that love with others.

"Good works should come from our thankfulness for salvation and love for Jesus, 
not as a way to get around what He did for us." She Reads Truth

As I read through the book of Genesis last month, as part of my one year plan to read the entire Bible, I was amazed at the story of Noah. How incredible that God had found enough favor with him to spare his entire family, despite destroying the remainder the world. 

My insecurities led me to this question, "Would God find enough favor with me, as He did with Noah, to spare me and my family from destruction?" Then, I thought...He did spare me. He sent His son to die in my place. Now, that's true love.

... I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ...

SCRIPTURE CHALLENGE:  FAITH

God's love comes without conditions. There is nothing I could ever do to earn it. Likewise, once I have accepted it, there is nothing I could ever do to lose it.

To some this may be scary, or even unbelievable. To me, someone who is always trying to properly meet every expectation, my own or otherwise, this is a relief.

Rest in that today. Accept it. Bask in the knowledge that in God's love, power, and perfect grace, you are good enough...without doing anything.

Lobsters in Love

In November, I wrote about M and I celebrating the 18th anniversary of our first date. If you're good at math, you have already figured out that we started dating in 1994, which was the height of Friends popularity.

(Disclaimer:  If you are around my age and a Friends fan, you will totally get this post. If you are not either of the above, just bear with me. We will get to a singing, dancing lobster soon. It will be worth it.)

M and I watched Friends together...a lot. In fact, thanks to Nick at Night, we still do. What I didn't realize until recently is how many things we still say and do in our relationship that came from Friends.

In early December was M's birthday. On that day, I wrote this as my Facebook status:

Happy Birthday to my very own lobster. Forever, claw in claw! Love you!!

With it, I posted a link to a video, similar to this one, in which Phoebe explains her Lobster Theory to Ross. At the end of this episode, Ross and Rachel finally get together (for the first time) and Phoebe exclaims, "He's her lobster!"

Then, last month, I got a Facebook message from a friend, telling me that there was an animated, stuffed lobster at Walgreens that I had to see. After searching three different Walgreens, I finally found it.

Even though M and I don't usually do Valentine's gifts, this seemed like the perfect one for him! While this is not the most romantic gift I have ever bought, I knew it would make him smile. Just like when he brought home my Sheldon Cooper bobble head doll just before Christmas. Smile. Or, when I bought him a Greatest American Hero shirt for Father's Day one year. Smile. Here's a little video I took of our new addition...the singing, dancing lobster.

Today's scripture challenge word theme is all time favorite. Not only is this verse one of my favorites, but I remember having it highlighted in my Student Bible, years ago.

When M and I first started dating, and were in that giddy faze, one of us (usually me) would just start giggling. When asked, what was funny, our response was always, "I just smiled and a laugh came out." Oh, to be so full of joy, to have such a cheerful heart, that when you smile, you can't help but laugh. Love and laughter go together. At least they do for M and I. 

How about for you? Do you think the ability to laugh together in love is important?

P.S. For more of my thoughts on how to maintain a cheerful heart, see my guest post this morning on Confessions of a Busy, Busy Bee. 

Linking up with Morgan for Saturday Morning Coffee!

{High 5 for Friday}

{scripture challenge:  New Testament}

His power works best in our weakness!

Boasting about my weaknesses this week.

{my first Julep box:  Classic, with a Twist}

Tried the cuticle oil. It is amazing!

Take your own style quiz here.

{what I gave my man for Valentine's Day}

Just a sneak peek. New post tomorrow.

A guaranteed laugh.

{artist in the making}

A's artwork on display.

Team Work Makes the Dream Work

{red velvet, peppermint brownies}

Original recipe here. I added peppermint.

And, a little ice cream. Yum!

Conversations with God

Prayer is not something I do with ease. In fact, the desire and ability to turn to God in prayer has not always existed in me.

It was at least two years ago that I went through a faith/prayer crisis. (I think I touched on this in another post, but I couldn't find it when scrolling through my archives. So, forgive me if I am repeating myself). During this period, I felt like prayer was useless, and, consequently, did not talk to God much. Here were some of the feelings and questions I wrestled with:

Since God is all-knowing, He knows what's going to happen. Why do I need to pray if the outcome is already set?

Who am I that my prayer would change God's mind? He's already got a plan.

Praying for someone or something is frustrating, especially when I don't get any answers.

I kept these feelings and questions to myself for a long time. When I finally talked with M about these things, he was at a loss. He was concerned. He talked with our pastor and came home with some insight related to my doubts about prayer. I don't remember exactly what was shared. I know that I still had questions. However, despite those lingering doubts, I began talking to God again. 

Since then I have seen many changes in my prayer life. However, prayer is still not my go-to. It is rarely the first option I think of when I have a problem, issue or praise. Additionally, I often get distracted when I pray and end up focusing on the wrong things. For example, yesterday I found myself wanting to surrender all the craziness of my day to God, but each time I tried, the all that I was trying to release kept coming back to me in the form of a massive to-do list. 

Last week we began studying prayer in our Sunday school class. We are reading through the devotional Love to Pray, by Alvin Vandergriend. As I began reading through the book, I knew that God had intended this study for me. The answers to my questions, that I had been searching for two years ago, are in this study. 

Here are some of the insights from the first two weeks:

God needs our prayers. God chooses to move in response to our prayers. "Though he is almighty, all-wise, and fully able to work without us, God chooses to work through our prayers." (p. 16)

Prayer starts with God. If we allow Him, God can make known to us what He desires for our prayers. We should start each prayer by asking God what He would have us pray. "...to pray is to learn to listen to God's whispers, to tune our hearts to him, to respond to his promptings." (p. 13)

You are welcome. God wants us to come into his presence for prayer. We are welcome there, because he recognizes us. He knows us. Though "we deserve to be barred from God's presence because of our sins...Christ has dealt with our sins and made us acceptable to God." (p. 18)

Have faith. When we have faith in God, we have knowledge of who He is, what He is like, and we trust that He will act in a certain way. Praying in faith "involves believing that God will always respond to our prayers in accord with his nature, his purposes, and his promises." (p. 24)

Pray with persistence. Prayer is not always easy, but we should not give up. "To pray persistently is to press our requests upon God with urgency and perseverance." (p. 30)

Always, keep praying. 

Never stop. 

No matter how difficult it may seem. Even if you have unanswered questions. Prayer is a gift we have been given, so that we can develop a deeper relationship with God. That is important. We have the ability to have continual conversations with God. Get a conversation started. Keep it going.

A New Song

Today is the birthday of one of my good friends, MC. She just also happens to be the same friend who lost her husband last July. These two facts are important as we look at today's scripture challenge word. I am amazed at how God works! Today's word is mourning.
As soon as I saw this word, I knew which verse I would choose. It was the verse I had sent to MC at a time when she was really struggling. She had experienced a difficult weekend, and the depth of her loss was great. I sent her this verse.

Over the past several months, I have watched MC's new song develop. It has been a slow process, but recently, I have begun to see a change in her. Please join me in prayer for MC today, as she continues to heal, with God's support and in His timing.
Are you in the midst of despair or mourning? May God fill you with a new song today.

the Saturday Morning Coffee Blog Hop!

<a href=http://quitetheblog.com"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RdspRMxKG9Y/ULlvg7N5asI/AAAAAAAACLY/JnLO6JY13mU/s200/freeimage-3168670.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />

It's Saturday Morning! 

Why not do a little blog hopping before your day gets started?

Meet your Host

MORGAN at Quite the Blog

 

And your Co-Host (ME)!

 

HOW IT WORKS:

- Follow host and co-hosts on Google Friend Connect (GFC)

- Add the "Saturday Morning Coffee" button to your Saturday blog post (your post can be about anything)

- Add your blog link to the bottom

- Tweet about it!

- Share it on Facebook!

- Go see what your fellow Saturday Morning Coffee blog hops are up to!

- Have fun!

Interested in co-hosting? E-mail me!

Happy Saturday!

Another Friday {High 5}

1.  Five new pair of underwear, one for each day. Thank you Victoria's Secret for making beautiful, cotton underwear. Comfortable and cute. Photo of the bag only, not the underwear. Although, I did write a post about underwear once.
2.  This week, I was very thankful for my glasses. Especially, since I threw away my last pair of contacts on Monday, without checking to make sure I had another pair. Will be wearing these until my new contact order arrives.
3.  I am a little obsessed with OPI nail polish. I love the variety of colors. And, the names of the polishes are so creative. Last week I wore Jade is the New Black (see fingers in photo #4). This week's color is Deutch you Want me Baby. Just in time for Valentine's Day!
(As a side note...while trying to take a photo {similar to those I have seen on Pinterest} of my nails with the bottle of polish, I came to two conclusions. One, my pinkie is crooked. Two, I'm pretty sure the photos on Pinterest are not actually of real hands.)
4.  I love polka dots. They make me happy.
5.  Today's scripture challenge theme is most repeated. I interpreted that as the verse that I have known the longest or have repeated to myself the most over the years. Thanks to the Kids Praise Album, I learned this one when I was very young. 1 John 4:7,8.
How was your week? I'd love to know.

Does Fear have Value?

Today's scripture challenge word is fear. While I believe that fear is similar to anxiety and worry, I have also found that fear has many faces. And, that there may even be value to experiencing certain types of fear. Last August, I wrote a post, which explored the positive aspects of fear. It seems appropriate to share it with you again, today.

The Faces of Fear - originally posted 8/2/12

I've been thinking a lot about fear, lately. These thoughts have led me to a realization. I have always assumed fear was bad. That to be scared was somehow less than ideal. That I should not let my children feel fear, that I should protect them from this emotion at all costs.

This line of thinking, I realized, is faulty. Fear is not the enemy. It's what you do in the face of fear that counts!

I believe O began his life in anxiety and fear. I've told the stories before of his infancy and the terror he exhibited, even from the slightest movement. He entered toddlerhood with fear. As he began walking, he began to fear navigating objects, stairs, unfamiliar environments. Although, he has never verbalized these fears to me, I observed them, I could feel them.

Consequently, I found myself doing many things to protect him, to keep him from experiencing that fear. Even though I took him to Occupational Therapy, so he could "get better" and I trusted the OT and her expertise more than I trusted myself, I still cringed every time she made him get on the swing or touch the paint. Especially, when he would run to me crying, needing comfort, I thought, "What am I doing?" But, I continued, despite my fear and because of his.

Now, that I have a greater understanding of O's fears, I realize that his fears are really a side effect of his dysfunctional sensory processing. Because everyday experiences may appear uncomfortable or unpredictable to him, he responds with generalized anxiety.

So, for O, the appearance of fear begins as a physiological response, then becomes emotional. I think the opposite is true for most of the rest of us. I know for me, the emotion of fear, although it may begin as only slight discomfort, can often turn into that physiological flight-or-fight response. Mostly flight, in my case, where I feel the need to avoid a certain situation or person. But, I think that there is another face of fear.

In Proverbs, we are told that the fear of the Lord "teaches wisdom," is the "fountain of true knowledge," and "leads to life." Also, Psalm 128:1 says, "How joyful are those who fear the LORD -  all who follow his ways!"

While fear can mean dread or apprehension, in can also mean "to stand in awe." In other words, to have respect for something, knowing that it is beyond your reach. Instead of being puffed up, or showing pride, we need to be reverent, to recognize the power that some people or things have over us, knowing that some fear is healthy, even helpful. It can lead to growth, knowledge, and even a fuller life.

As a mother, I believe I will always be more sensitive to the fears of my children, especially O. But, I am trying to recognize the value of those fears, so that I don't play supermom, trying to step in and save the day, whenever there is the slightest presence of fear. I also want to remain aware of how O experiences the world, so that I can help him navigate through life, in the face of fear.

Through a set of tragic and heart-wrenching experiences this week, I have also come to discover that my faith in an all-powerful, all-knowing God provides me with the the lenses that I view this world. It is because of Him, His sacrifice, and His promise that I have the freedom to live despite my own fears, and the hope that I can conquer them, one day at a time.

Verse 4: Worry

Today's scripture challenge theme is worry. I started looking for a verse by searching my bookmarks in You Version. I found this passage of scripture under the category worry. I read it and reread it and couldn't figure out why I had categorized it this way. What did this verse have to do with worry?
Then, I got it. I was thinking in terms of opposites again. Those words confidence and assurance are the opposite of worry. When we worry, we are uneasy, troubled and miserable. When we stand confident in Christ, we are trusting, positive, and live with certainty.
We don't know what tomorrow will hold. But, it is not for us to worry about. Instead, we should have faith, confidence, and assurance in God and His plan.

My Thoughts on Anxiety

O's world is filled with anxiety. It's one of the side effects of his SPD. Living in an unpredictable world. Being unsure what sights, sounds and textures might bombard his sensory system. Although he has made great progress in so many areas, I still see his anxiety, almost daily.

Yesterday, we were able to play outside. It was cloudy, but not too cold. So, we ventured into the backyard. We played baseball and soccer and climbed the ladder to his "pirate ship."

However, when I suggested he try the swing, he immediately said, "No." I asked him several more times during our playtime. Finally, he agreed.

When I lifted him onto the swing, his body was tense. He was not allowing me to help bend his legs and wouldn't let go of me, so he could hold onto the chains. He was resisting the movements that he feared would harm him, when in actuality, they would have helped him be more secure on the swing. He was in full panic mode.

I bent down in front of him, once he finally put his hands on the chains. I spoke softly and tried to get him to focus on me, not on the swing. It didn't work. He was ready to get off the swing, back onto solid ground.

Not only does O struggle with anxiety because of his SPD, but I also believe it is a part of his genetic make-up. You see, I also struggle with anxiety, daily. There are many things that make me uneasy and distressed.

It is for me and O that I chose this passage, from Philippians, for today's scripture challenge theme - anxiety:

I read a post from Girls of God's Heart this past week about anxiety. In it, Kelly, the blogger, stated that anxiety and prayer are two great opposing forces. Also, in our small group last Sunday, the leader made the assertion that faith and fear are opposites. Based on this passage of scripture, and practical experience, I believe both of those statements to be true.

As I reflected on this passage, these statements, and O's reaction to the swing, I realized that God does not want me to be anxious. Instead, He wants me to pray. He makes attempts to get my attention, speaking in a gentle whisper, and urges me to stop fighting, to let Him help.

Instead of getting flustered, I need to seek peace. That peace, "which exceeds anything [I] can understand," is only found in Him.

Do not be anxious....instead, pray

Do not be fearful...instead, have faith

Do not be restless...instead, seek peace

January Poem & First Verse

ONCE UPON A JANUARY I put together a little something to show off my lack of poetry skills and provide a recap of what happened here in January. Just in case you missed something...
There once was a blogger whose name has no rhyme She started the year with 13 facts and a peaceful photo because she ran out of time
In the next post she gave her Two Words for the year Then, onto a DIY post about journals, right here
It's in the Past, she said next Let's have some fun With a High 5 post And, a new plan had begun
Then onto a post, with 10 things about A A Liebster award And, the 100th post, yay!
A new Letter to Kindergarten,  The Tooth Fairy (oh, she is a fake), Inspiring jewelry, a lovely High 5 And the clutter, she just can't take!
To wrap up this Jan. A post about Girls And, a Challenge Accepted  Oh, man!
It was a great month 17 posts in all Welcomed new friends And, had a ball!
FIRST VERSE The first month of 2013 and my poem (thankfully) have come to an end. 
Now that February is here, it's time to start the 30-day Faith/Scripture Challenge, hosted by Cat at This Little Life of Mine. Today's challenge was to find a verse or scripture passage related to stress. I immediately thought of one of my favorite verses.

If you want to join the challenge, link up or print the 30-day challenge list here.
LINKING UP WITH

Challenge Accepted

Sometimes I wish life could be easy. That I wouldn't feel pushed and pulled in different directions, trying to balance my faith, a family, a job, friends, a blog.

I don't believe that life is intended to be easy, but abundant and full of purpose. It's design is not for breezing through without obstacles, but for developing strategy and refining our navigation skills.

I don't want to miss the beauty of becoming. - Jenny Simmons

SELF CHALLENGE
If you've been a follower of this blog for awhile, you know that starting this blog was the beginning of me doing more, being creative and setting goals. If you're a new follower, you can read this blog's birth story here.

As part of my blogging journey, I have been challenged to write on difficult topics, to boldly share my feelings and my faith, and to step outside my comfort zone...a lot! A friend recently asked me if I get nervous about putting myself out there, about letting others see deep into me. To be honest, I don't think about that too much anymore. With my first few posts, I felt like puking every time I hit publish. Now, I get excited to share what I'm learning. Hoping people will read and identify with my story.

In the past eight months, I have also challenged myself to be a voice of encouragement, start a one year plan to read the Bible and to listen and follow the voice of God.

These things have been challenges because I didn't believe I could do them. I didn't have the courage or the confidence. That wasn't me. But, God began changing that eight months ago. I am so grateful that He continues to transform me. I like myself much better than I used to.

However, I still harbor many insecurities. My goal, lately, has been to turn those insecurities into action. Asking myself, "What can I do to change this?"

Make up your mind that you're not going to quit...
until you see the fruit of what God has placed within you. 
- Joyce Meyer

In late December I got strep throat and spent several days in bed. My husband was very clear that I was supposed to rest, which left me with a lot of time to read and think. I thought mostly about this space and whether I should try to promote it. Not just among my friends and family, but among the blogging world.

I didn't want it to be about the numbers, but I did want more readers. Not just one time visitors, but readers. In order to have more readers, I needed more followers. Ultimately, I knew that God would touch the lives of those He wanted through my blog. But, I still felt the need to do something.

You see, his faith and his actions worked together. His actions made his faith complete. - James 2:22 (NLT)

I decided to devote the month of January and a little bit of Christmas money (thanks Grandma!) to promoting my blog. I carefully chose a few blogs to sponsor and took advantage of opportunities to co-host, write guest posts, and participate in giveaways. I was intentional about my choices and gave the rest to God.

Here's what happened with the numbers...

My GFC followers increased from 75 to 200

My Facebook page went from 82 likes to 156

My total page views for January have been 3,011
(versus an average of 985 per month prior)

Here's what really happened...

I met some great new blogging friends.

I received many beautiful comments and complimentary emails.
(I even got a "thank you" email from another bloggers' mom...now that's a compliment)

I've felt supported and encouraged.

God is clearly working in this space.

"The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’" - Matthew 25:23 (NLT)

CHALLENGE FROM OTHERS
One of the reasons I love reading what other people write, through blogs or other social media, is because they often challenge me to think or act differently, to ask questions and to be better.

Last week, I read a post from Cat at This Little Life of Mine. In this post, she initiated a 30-day scripture challenge. The challenge:  find a new scripture everyday, that applies to that day's theme. Then, write a post, tweet, pin, Instagram, and/or share it on Facebook. Sharing scripture with others. Filling cyberspace with God's word. How could I say no? Challenge accepted.

So, beginning February 1st, I will be searching the Bible daily for wisdom related to stress, anxiety, prayer, forgiveness, etc. and sharing it with all of you.

If you would like to join this challenge, visit Cat's blog and link up. If you're not a blogger, but want to join, print out the 30-day scripture challenge list. Then, share away.

If you share on Twitter or Instagram, use #faithchallenge, so we can be inspired from God's word together.

Last week, Fawne at Beauty in Weakness posted this:

We think...try harder. God says...know me more.

Stop trying...start abiding.

Stop striving...start relating.

If you desire to know God more, enter into this scripture challenge. In this way, we can abide in Him daily and relate to each other through His word.

In what ways have you challenged yourself lately? Have you also been challenged by others? I would love to know.


LINKING UP WITH