New Year. Resolutions?

To resolve is to make a decision, to have a purpose.

As a new year approaches, I have found myself reading and thinking about New Year's Resolutions. Why does a new year seem to beckon a fresh start?

Wikipedia defines a New Year's Resolution as "a commitment that a person makes to one or more personal goals, projects, or the reforming of a habit. A key element to a New Year's Resolution that sets it apart from other resolutions is that it is made in anticipation of...new beginnings."

I have never been very interested in making New Year's Resolutions. It always seemed a bit trendy to me. Something everyone was doing, usually poorly. I often heard more about people's failed resolutions than their successful ones. But, the closer it got to January 1st, the more I started to get curious...who came up with the New Year's Resolution concept anyway?

The idea of making resolutions at the beginning of a new year originated many years ago. In fact, ancient Babylonians and Romans began each new year by making promises to their gods. While New Year's Resolutions have historically been about developing greater internal character or focusing on doing good to others, resolutions in the 21st century have become more self-centered.

This resolution, from the early 1900's, probably would not be popular today:

My other issue with New Year's Resolutions is that, although they are meant to change behavior completely, the change is usually short lived. This cartoon seems to capture it perfectly:

So how do we make changes that last? How do we make resolutions that we'll keep? Here are some of my ideas...

Start now. You don't have to wait until the new year starts to make a change. Okay, I realize the new year is only a few days away, so there may be no rush to start something new before January 1st. But, what if you were reading this is in February or July?

I began this blog in April, based on the desire to make changes in my life. M and I participated in a marriage seminar in October, in an effort to make positive changes in our relationship. You get the idea...some things can't and shouldn't wait.

Do a task analysis. We use this a lot in education. What it really means, is to break down a task into its smaller parts. This makes it easier to see what part is missing or what may not be understood. It also makes the task more manageable.

I'll give you an example from my own life. You may remember my post about O and his reluctance to participate in the church Christmas program. I stood before my son, crying and in his underwear, only 15 minutes before we had to leave, and thought, we will never make it. Getting him onto the stage was too much to think about in that moment, so I broke down the seemingly enormous task into smaller parts. First up, getting him calm. Second, getting him dressed. Third, getting into the car. And, so on.

Take it one day at a time. New Year's Resolutions should really be New Daily Resolutions. In order to continue moving forward, to accomplish or to get rid of, you have to start new every day.

In May 2011, I decided it was finally time to lose my baby weight. Especially since my baby was then three years old! I lost a total of 20 pounds, which was not easy. But, do you know what has been harder? Maintaining that weight loss. Don't lose any more weight. Don't gain. Stay the same.

Maintenance is difficult. Because, once you go into maintenance mode, you don't think about that thing every moment of every day. It's life as usual. Then, something else takes over your thoughts, and before you know it, that thing you have worked so hard to get rid of, it's back. Or that thing that you've accomplished, isn't happening so often anymore.


Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! - 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

Creation is just the beginning. We are alive, ever changing.

Don't stay where you are. Keep moving.

I am a new creation. I can't be stagnant.

You are a new creation. Be one everyday!

Christmas Week. In Review.

Not sure how it's possible to delete a post that has already been published. But, I managed to do it. Probably because I am still sick in bed (see below) and have been using my back-up technology to try and keep up with blogging.

So, here it is. My second attempt at my week in review...

Last Friday, my son made it, smiling, through his Christmas performance at school. If you read my latest SPD post, you will understand how difficult these types of things can be for him. We were so proud of him. He was proud too!

My "completed" Christmas tree, December 23rd. I should have waited longer to put the presents under the tree, since I kept finding them moved around, in different places.

Although there were many questions from my girls about Santa and his existence this season, we still left him, and the reindeer, some goodies on Christmas Eve, just in case.

This has been my view since Wednesday. Woke up Christmas morning with a sore throat. Got diagnosed with strep the day after. Have been in bed ever since.

Although this photo is not from the past week, now that our Christmas presents have been distributed and opened, I can finally share it with you. Our most recent family photo, taken at our local zoo. We had a great time taking photos and made some wonderful memories!

Where Are You?

If you're looking for me today, you will find me guest posting at Rambling Momma. I've written a fun post titled, It's a Big/Small Blogging World, which features my own insights into the the world of blogging.
Check it out here...

Mary's Song

I read the following passage from Luke this morning. I have read it, or had it read to me, several times over the past months, as part of the Christmas story. But, today, I read it as a mother. As a woman who has been pregnant and given birth under normal circumstances.

Did Mary speak these words as a pregnant, unwed teenager, with fear and devoid of hope? No, she wrote as a woman, praising her Lord for His gift. She spoke as a woman who was soon to bear a son, conceived by the Holy Spirit. This boy, her son, would be the savior of the world. Despite her less than ideal circumstances, in a culture where she could legally be put to death for her current state, she praised God!

Mary responded, 

“Oh, how my soul praises the Lord. 

How my spirit rejoices in God my Savior! 

For he took notice of his lowly servant girl, 

and from now on all generations will call me blessed. 

For the Mighty One is holy, and he has done great things for me. 

He shows mercy from generation to generation to all who fear him. 

His mighty arm has done tremendous things! 

He has scattered the proud and haughty ones. 

He has brought down princes from their thrones and exalted the humble. 

He has filled the hungry with good things and sent the rich away with empty hands. 

He has helped his servant Israel and remembered to be merciful. 

For he made this promise to our ancestors, to Abraham and his children forever.” 

- Luke 1:46-55 (NLT)

What lesson do you take from Mary's words today?

Silence

An SPD Christmas is Still About Jesus

I haven't been writing much about my son's SPD lately. I wish it was because the signs have diminished and things were improving. Unfortunately, that's not the case. In fact, because of the holidays - parties, programs, altered routines - the SPD has been ugly.

As I was processing what to write today, I thought of many things. I thought of my troubles in relation to the troubles of others. At least I still have my children, my son, despite the circumstances. I thought of the people, my friends and family, who have been offering words of encouragement and praise. Those who sit with us during mealtimes, watching meltdowns or who we call on for emergency childcare when we just can't handle it anymore.

I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again, because I have been feeling the weight of it lately. The holidays, with SPD, are hard. So hard that I have found myself wishing that we could escape them. That we could boycott all the events, parties, programs, etc. But, we can't. Although we have made decisions to avoid certain places or have decided not to participate in certain activities, there are some things, for the sake of the rest of us, that we cannot and will not avoid.

Let's talk about yesterday, Sunday. O protested going to church, what he would wear, what he would do there. He has had fabulous teachers this month, ones who love him and understand, as much as they can, what he goes through to be there. But, he had the Christmas program hanging over his head. The stage, the lights, the darkness, the sounds. All of it.

We got through the morning. His teachers praised how well he did, during class and at rehearsal. He was a leader among the group, which he likes, because it gives him a sense of control. He will be fine, I thought. He will be fine, everyone assured me.

My attempt to get him to nap in the afternoon failed. Since, the side effects of SPD are magnified when he is tired, it was worth a try. While he "rested" with me for an hour, he did not sleep.

In the afternoon, things were going normally, at least our version of normal, until bath time. This has been a big struggle recently. I have racked my brain to determine why he has started resisting so vehemently. I have no answers. So, we just face the difficulty, each night.

Everything about Sunday's bath time was different. Different time of day, different circumstances in the bathroom - mommy and sisters getting ready for church - not to mention, that we just didn't have as much time as usual. It was not relaxing, but that could not be avoided.

After bath, on a typical night, O will get into his pajamas, watch some TV and eat his evening snack, before going to bed. Sunday night, the night of the program, this could not be the routine. Consequently, O was struggling.

He didn't want to go to the program, didn't want to sing.

As I watched him sit, in his squish box, in his underwear, eating his typical evening snack (this night before he even had dinner), I resigned myself to the fact that he probably wouldn't perform. That was okay. But he had to go with us. His sisters and cousins were performing, and all our babysitters were going to be there. There were no other options.

We managed to get him in his Christmas outfit, despite protest that the buttons on the shirt would tickle him and that wearing an undershirt would tickle him more, all the while ignoring his pleas to stay home. Into the car. Drive to church. Just get the girls there on time.

O was much calmer by the time we got to church, but I was still concerned. I know that certain types of exercise help calm and regulate him, so we took trips up and down the stairs, several times. He walked, crawled and bear-walked them. I dropped him off in his class after 10-minutes of stair walking, advising his teacher that more exercise, while they waited to go on stage, might be a good idea.

He did it. He sang on the stage. He did the motions. When he came down, he flew into my arms and squeezed me so tight, then asked for a phone to play on and said he was thirsty.

Everyone was impressed with how well he did. I was too. But, one thing I've experienced lately with O's SPD is that, while we are often able to prepare him to get through the hard things, the aftermath is brutal. He doesn't know what to do with himself after he's gotten through the hard things. We don't know what to do with him either.

After the program we needed dinner. O didn't, which was the first problem. The other problems...it was almost bedtime, he hadn't napped, we were going to a new restaurant, he had to go to the bathroom (and won't use public restrooms), he wanted to drive through a specific neighborhood to see Christmas lights, etc. Each one a recipe for disaster by itself, but together. Oh wow.

When we finally got home, after 9pm, and got the kids in bed, I was exhausted. I still couldn't believe that he had gone onto the stage and sang. But, at what cost. I questioned my motives. I thought of his upcoming preschool program. So many changes. So many things that should be fun, but bring him a exorbitant amount of stress.

I am so grateful for my son. For this little boy with a huge heart. For the joy that he brings our family, daily. This morning he woke up and said, "I did good in the program last night, mama." I said, "Yes, you did." We didn't discuss the before or the after.

My heart breaks for my son. For his stress. His anxiety. His interpretation of life. Although I know he is smart, because of how he analyzes the world I often wonder how much of the emotional part of life he gets. 

Sometimes O draws to de-stress. In an effort to keep him occupied and quiet during E's choir performance on Saturday night, we gave him a pencil and paper. Here's what he drew...

My son, who usually draws trains or animals, drew the stable. The place where Jesus' life began. It always comes back to Jesus. He gets THAT.

"I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. 

But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33 (NLT)

A Little More Christmas

I love to decorate with pretty things, especially at Christmas. But, I don't like to spend a lot of money. While I do believe that I am creative, I am not super crafty, which means that making my own decorations, in an effort to save money, is not really an option. So, I have come up with other ways to decorate on a budget.
I decided I would share some of my tips for creating relatively inexpensive, but beautiful holiday decor with you.
Look for things in unexpected places. Last October (2011) my mom and I - and my three kids (crazy) - took a trip to Ikea. I always find great things there, at reasonable prices. But, what I wasn't expecting to find, was Christmas decorations. These two frames were $1 a piece and the prints inside came in a pack of five for $2. 

Take something you use all year and add Christmas to it.  These three black lanterns were one of my awesome Ikea finds. During most of year, they sit on my dining table, with candles and a few natural elements inside. This year, I added greenery, pine cones, and a little ribbon and put them on my fireplace hearth. 

Take advantage of after-Christmas sales. Every year, my mom and I go shopping the day after Christmas. This is when most stores, even those that sell Christmas year-round, will put all Christmas decorations at least 50 percent off. One of the places we always visit is Pottery Barn. It is one of my favorite stores. Well...mostly I just look at the catalog and get ideas, since everything is so expensive. But, I have found many wonderful items on sale the day after Christmas.
I got this vase filler - vintage stars with music notes, small silver ornaments and silver stars with glitter - several years ago. I borrowed the vases, added a little "snow", two glass bird ornaments from Target, and some greenery...instant Christmas vignette.

Have any family members with discounts? While I don't currently, several years ago both my sisters worked at Pottery Barn. I took advantage of their discounts and got these houses and several tree candles. The houses go into a large cubbie I have above my TV, which, by the way, sits empty the rest of the year because I still haven't found anything to put in it. 

This year, I put the tree candles, along with some greenery, on my dining table. I love how they contrast with my red tablecloth.

Start a collection. I collect Old World Christmas ornaments. I've always liked them and my dream - before I realized how much it would cost - was to fill my tree with them. I have been adding to this collection myself year after year, and my tree is slowing being filled. My family members also know that I collect these ornaments and have bought many of them for me. This is the ornament my mom bought for me this year. The ornament, and the message it shares, are beautiful.  

Looking forward to that day! Ultimate peace.

Ugly is the New Beautiful

Last Friday, M and I hosted an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party. A group of 20 friends from church came to our home for the group's annual Christmas celebration. Since we were hosting for the second year, I decided I wanted to do a theme party. My Pinterest searches led me to the Ugly Christmas Sweater theme.

After spending way too much time searching the internet for free printables, and coming up empty, I decided just to make my own. These were attached to the prizes:

Here is a sample of some of the food and drink labels I created:

Although it went against every type-A bone in my body, I attempted to "ugly" my own Christmas table settings and decorations. With a little help from my local Dollar Tree, by mixing various prints and colors, and adding a little sparkle, here is what I came up with:

M and I in our festive attire:

The party was so much fun! 
Now, to go a little deeper...
One thing I have been reminded of recently is that beauty (and ugliness) is relative. What one person may see as ugly, tacky, and down-right awful, another person may see as beautiful or amazing. It was this line of thinking that led me to create the "I'd wear that ugly sweater" prize. 
Did you know God has a different perspective of us than we do of ourselves? When He looks at us, He sees righteousness and beauty. He doesn't see the sin, the ugliness. All of that was erased with Jesus, God's perfect gift. Let's celebrate that this Christmas!

Christmas Goodies

Every year at Christmastime, I bake. This is not something I do often the during the rest of the year. (Unless, you count baking brownies from a box or making chocolate chip cookie dough - not for the cookies, just for the dough). But, at Christmastime, I enjoy baking lots of goodies.

This year I tried two new recipes. They were both delightful...and have become my husband's new favorites. He has had the same favorite cookie, that I bake, ever since I first made it for him, which has to be at least 10 years ago. So, for him to admit to having new favorites, is huge.
The first new favorite was a Red Velvet Peppermint cookie. You can find the recipe here.

SOURCE

While I enjoyed the Red Velvet, this second cookie, the Easy Lemon cookie, was MY favorite. You can find the recipe here. Instead of rolling the ball of dough in powdered sugar, I opted for the lemon glaze. It was delicious!

SOURCE

As you can see, I do not have my own photos of these delectable treats. I made a batch of each for a party we hosted (more on that on Friday) and, by the time I wrote this post, all the cookies were gone! I will be making more before Christmas, guaranteed.

Masterpiece - A Poem

We are God's masterpiece. His great work. A work of art.
Me, with all my anxiety and fear. With my insecurities and imperfections. I am His masterpiece.
My son, his obsessions and rules. With his interests and strengths. He is God's masterpiece.
My girls, with opinions and moods. With their gifts and talents. They are His masterpiece.
My husband. With his leadership and creativity.
He is God's masterpiece, too.
We are God's masterpiece. His great work. Holy and dearly loved.

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we  can do the good things he planned for us long ago. - Ephesians 2:10

Give Up? Give it to Him.

Calm. Cool. Steady. These three words have definitely not described me lately. However, all three words were in the title of a devotional I read last week. Unfortunately, I did not read it until Friday, even though it was scheduled for me to read on Tuesday. It was that kind of week.

But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don’t be afraid of suffering for the Lord. 
Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you. - 2 Timothy 4:5 (NLT)

Work. This has been the source of frustration for me much of this school year. There just seem to be too many changes, annoyances, newbies and rules. Oh, the minutia of all the rules! The job I used to love, that I was convinced God was calling me to, has not been a source of joy for me lately.

I used to be one of those people who counseled others on "doing what you love". Find your passion. Use that as your goal or career choice. Hmmmmm. After all, that's what I had done. But, things change. Passions and interests, they change. Does that mean that careers should change? You can't just quit your job or make a huge life decision based on your passions. Can you?

Keep a clear mind. Focus. These are hard things to do. Especially when your surrounded by challenges, frustration, and so many rules.

Don't get me wrong. I love rules. I'm what you would classify as a "rule follower". If you give me a rule, I'm going to do my best to make sure I follow it. That's why all these rules are leading to stress and frustration. To follow all the rules means less time for doing the things I love. Less time to make a difference.

Instead of being ruled by our emotions when we're confronted with problems, 

we should calm down and focus on doing what God has called us to do. 

If you're upset about something, instead of letting it ruin your life, 

turn it into something good. - Joyce Meyer

Don't be ruled by emotions. Carry out the ministry God has given you. With so many things changing, it has been difficult to see God's ministry for me. What, for so much of my adult life, has seemed clear, has now become foggy. What was once easy to perceive, has become ambiguous.

Every year, my mom buys my kids advent calendars that have a little piece of chocolate inside for each day. The girls love everything about them. They love having something to open each day, the surprise of finding out what will be imprinted on the chocolate, and, probably most of all, eating the chocolate. 

My son does not like chocolate. Would rather not even touch it. But, he loves numbers.

His joy in those calendars is in finding the numbers, opening the little doors, and looking at the chocolate. Just looking. No eating. He finds joy in the nuances, the small part. The part, which for most of us would seem insignificant, or even frustrating - if we couldn't find the right number fast enough. When thinking about this, I can't help but wonder if I'm missing some of the joy, in the little things.

Tell others the Good News. Turn your trials into something good. I think the what is obvious. It's the how, all the little nuances, that are open to interpretation. My desire...to let God interpret it for me. It's time to give it back to Him. Let Him resolve it. He will let me know what He decides. I'm sure of that.

Looks a lot like Christmas

Since the day after Thanksgiving (after tackling the stores early on Black Friday), I have been attempting to transform my home into a Christmas wonderland. So, as part of the Bloggers for Christmas link-up this week, I wanted to share some photos of how my home is proclaiming the truth of this holiday. 
Since I have just recently realized the vastness of social media (I know, I'm a little slow in this area), there are two things, which are fairly new to me, that I am currently obsessed with. Pinterest and Instagram. I got many of my ideas for Christmas decorating this year by browsing Pinterest. And have had fun playing around with the photos of my decor on Instagram. 
One of my favorite finds was this site with so many beautiful and free printables. I printed this banner for my mantle - BELIEVE.

Also, found this 8x10 printable with all the names for Jesus, which are listed in Isaiah, Chapter 9, Verse 6. I already had the frame, so this was a very inexpensive addition to my decor. Just another way to focus on the true reason for the season.

One of my kids' favorites is the countdown to Christmas printable. O helped me write this one. Can you guess which number he wrote?

I have several nativity sets. Most are kid-friendly. I had O help me with this one. Notice how all the of characters are completely surrounding the baby Jesus, even the animals. Guess O knows where our focus should be. Not just at Christmas, but always.

My favorite nativity is made by Willow Tree. It is not kid-friendly. I have instructed all three kids not to touch this one.

I shared this photo in the Ornament Swap post. Couldn't help but share it again. I'm proud of my tree. This year I decided to use burlap as garland. It was easy to work with, since I bought it on a roll. And, I was pleased with the results. Another - I know you're surprised - Pinterest idea, via HGTV.

For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest upon his shoulders. And he will be called:   Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. - Isaiah 9:6 (NLT) Also linking up with Honey We're Home, to showcase my Christmas Tree. This week's music features two Christmas songs. A new and an old favorite. Grab the button on the sidebar to share your favorite Christmas music.