Different

My son is different. He is unlike other boys his age. You can't necessarily tell it by looking at him. But, I can often see it in his eyes, his behavior, his questions.

Here's one example. Recently, I told O we were going to the park, for a birthday party. Most nearly five-year old boys would likely react to this news by jumping up and down with excitement, screaming, "yay!" or "wahoo!"

Instead of either of those things, my son asked, "What does the park look like, mommy?"

I have come to expect these questions. Yet, they still catch me by surprise.

When we got to the park, O refused to go into the area where the party was set up. I had anticipated that he would be leery of this, given that there would be lots of people, many of whom he didn't know. Instead, we went directly to the play structure.

This worked for him, until other kids came to play there as well. As soon as another child got on the structure, he got off. On and off. Off and on. This was his pattern. 

GOT THIS PHOTO BEFORE HE REALIZED THERE WERE KIDS BEHIND HIM

While O is very social with the kids he knows well, he avoids unknown children. Mostly because he can't predict their actions. Even though his best friends at school are loud and rambunctious and hug him way too hard, he knows that they are this way, so he can be prepared. With strangers, it is the unknown that creates anxiety in him.

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about O and his SPD. Every time I see another child doing something, fulfilling a milestone that O didn't do at the appropriate time or still hasn't mastered, I am reminded of his differences.

I try not to compare myself with others. I try to follow this same rule with my kids, too. But, in O's case, I need the comparison. I need to understand the differences, so that I can be prepared for them. This preparedness helps both of us. Even though dwelling on these differences is counter-productive, ignoring them is worse.

O's FIRST TIME ON A SWING IN A LONG TIME. SMILING BEFORE IT STARTED MOVING.

Different is a neutral word. It's not bad or good. It simply means not identical; separate or distinct. Different isn't easy. It is a struggle, daily. But, it is okay.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. 
“And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. 
For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways 
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts." 

Isaiah 55:8, 9 (NLT)

If you want more information or have questions about SPD, visit my Defining SPD page or send me an email. 
Some resources that have helped me gain knowledge about SPD and given me a healthy perspective related to O's differences are the A Sensory Life website and Understanding Your Sensory Signals books. 
I recommend them to any parent with questions related to sensory processing.

LINKING UP WITH

Birthday Week {High 5 & Letters}

Dear husband...the highlight of my week was spending nearly three days alone with you, in one of our favorite places. Your love continues to amaze and bless me.

Dear Ritz Carlton...you are a dream come true. With your amazing ocean view, fabulous decor (including this bathtub) and incredible customer service, you are my number one vacation destination. Relaxation at it's finest.

Dear blog...I tried something new this week. My first link-up. I'm still evaluating this decision. But, I loved reading what M had to say about you and me and our journey together this past year.

Dear kids...I enjoyed coming home to this balloon banner. I feel the depths of your love, everyday. My prayer is that I will be the kind of mother you deserve, everyday. What wonderful, little human beings you are!

Dear God...thanks for meeting me this week. By the ocean. Through the kind words and acts of others. On a walk, with the sun making it's way through the clouds. And, in worship, with these songs - The Becoming and One Thing Remains.

I’m not holding back for next year

I’m living for today

So when I take my final breath

I’m not leaving with regrets

Jenny Simmons, Heaven Waits for Me

Linking up with Lauren and Ashley.

Married to the Blog: You've Changed

The topic for today's Married to the Blog link-up is 
How has your wife/girlfriend changed since she started blogging?

When Sybil first approached me about writing for her blog, I thought “is she serious?”  After all, I hate writing…I’d rather do just about anything else. As most people I know can attest, I’d much rather have an actual conversation with people – about any topic – than try to eloquently put my words on paper. It’s about as enjoyable to me as watching golf on television would be to Sybil. 

One year ago, almost to the day, Sybil told me that she was going to start a blog.  My immediate reaction, I must admit, was one of near total shock. Now, my wife and I have been married for nearly 13 years…and have been together for over 18 years. There simply isn’t anyone I know better than her. 

Over the past couple of weeks since Sybil made this request, a million different ideas have come to my head about what I should write. Should I write about how much I love my wife? No, too sappy. Should I write about all the things we’ve done together and my favorite experiences we’ve shared over the years?  No, too hard to squeeze into a simple blog post. Should I write about how perfect my wife is for me?  No….too gaggy. Should I write about how imperfect she is?  Um, no…our couch isn’t comfortable enough for me to sleep on for an extended period of time.

In honor of Sybil celebrating her birthday today, I thought I’d take this opportunity to share a few of the many ways my beautiful wife has changed – and a few things I’ve learned – in the past year, in no particular order, as a result of her entering the “blog world.”

1.   She’s had her life transformed by intentionally bringing Christ into all that she does – at home, at work and everywhere in between.

2.   She’s becoming a social butterfly.  The woman who used to avoid casual conversation now hosts parties and Bible studies at our home, goes to concerts with her friends, and more.

3.   She’s become a true leader, from volunteering her time to important committees to leading those she works when they need it most.

4.   She’s learned how unbelievably rewarding it can be to leap headfirst into something you’re normally scared to do when you’re called to do it…starting this blog was just the beginning.

5.   She’s learned how to make 50 different outfits from two pairs of jeans, three button-up shirts and some duck tape. (Ok, no duck tape….but it felt like a very “MacGyver” thing to add).

6.   She’s become an even more amazing friend to those in her life who, in the past year, have needed her to be there for them in ways we could have never imagined.

7.   With free time in her schedule now devoted to the blog, she’s learned how to make the dishes and other chores that once used to be “her responsibility” my responsibility.  Still not sure how I feel about this one….ask me next year at this time.

8.   She’s become “the popular one” in our family.  Everywhere I go nowadays people – many of whom I don’t know all that well – tell me “I just love your wife’s blog” and “your wife has really helped me with her blog.”  She’s even had national blogs and international authors ask her to contribute to their works in the past year.   

9.   She’s the best cheerleader.  When I started a new business a year and a half ago, we knew it was a transition that would mean additional pressure on our finances, quality family time, and more.  It’s not always easy but, with the start of this blog, S has found an even greater appreciation for the time and energy I’ve put into the business lately….and an understanding that makes it easy for me to pursue this passion.   But nothing comes before our family, and…

10.   …she’s become an even better mom.  Her ability to transparently share her heart through her writing has led to an amazing ability to connect – through words and on paper – with our children in an equally powerful way. 

I am proud that Sybil is my wife…but I am even more proud to be her husband. Never has that statement been more true than it is after watching my wife over the past year.  

Can’t wait to see that the next year has in store for us…..Happy Birthday, Babe!

Now, it's your turn. Grab the button. Link your post below. 

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