Search for Independence

As a country, we just finished celebrating Independence Day. Personally, that meant...Fireworks. Food. Friends. Fun.

However, in my house, the independence I spend most days focusing on, in not such a celebratory manner, is that of a preschooler, which looks very different. Hands on hips. Loud voice. "I'll do it myself!"

It's not that I don't want O to become more independent. In fact, I am so proud of the many things that he can do on his own. To put it in perspective, a year ago O had difficulty using both of his hands together to complete a task, which made something simple, like pulling up or or down his own pants, a challenge. Try it sometime...it really does take two hands. He is now able to dress himself, when he wants to, but it's not a smooth or quick process.

Then, there's the attitude and resistance to accepting even the smallest amount of help, that comes on the path towards independence. There is nothing more frustrating to me than when O decides that he wants to buckle his own seat belt, when we are already leaving later than planned, and he won't let me do anything to help the process along.

Yet, I stand there, trying not to show my annoyance, all the while thinking, "Why can't you just accept a little help? It really would make this process more efficient and go a lot faster."

This got me thinking...Don't I like to do things myself? Isn't this why I don't often ask for help? Even though I know that asking for help is not a bad thing, I cannot bring myself to do it easily. It's possible that there is a bit of pride involved. Or maybe I see it as a sign of weakness in myself, even though that's not how I view it in others. Whatever the reason, I would rather "do it myself" (at times, with a little attitude) than ask for help.

You'd think that this resistance to help would mean that I have complete confidence in myself, in my ability to do it all on my own. In fact, the opposite is true. I would love to have more confidence, in myself or my abilities.

Take a look at the confidence described in Paul's letter to the Romans:

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13 (NLT)

First we trust in God, then, when He fills us with joy, peace, confidence, and hope, we can do it.

Here is a photo of my little boy on Independence Day.

Is he scared of fireworks? Yes and no. Although he loves how they look, he doesn't like how they sound. Honestly, they are loud. So, in order to enjoy the fireworks this year, he took a little assistance, from some noise-canceling head phones.

Maybe we do life best with a little support, protection. Is it when we are just scared enough or when our confidence has taken just enough of a beating, we are more willing to accept the help of someone or something? Just something to think about...