Being Brave

I'm not a how-to writer. There are times when I wish is was. When I scroll through Facebook or my blog feed and see dozens of how-to articles, I think, I wish I could do that. Maybe more people would read if I could just simplify life, faith, fear or motherhood, marriage or writing into five to ten easy steps.

But, that's not life, at least the way I see it. And, that's not me. I'm a storyteller. I write my story with the hope that other people will be inspired to create their own how-to's. If you can connect with my stories and learn from them, if they make an impact in even one moment of your day, then I will be satisfied.

Whether I like it or not - and most of the time I don't - fear is a part of my story. As a result, I read a lot about what other people think about fear and their perception of bravery.

One of my recent favorites is Let's All Be Brave, by Annie Downs. I finished this book within 24-hours and was so sad for it to come to an end. Although there are many differences between Annie and me - she is single, younger, lives in Nashville, was a missionary in Scotland, and has published several books - she, like me, understands the importance of being brave, of saying yes even when you're scared and of saying no despite the fear you might be missing that one important thing.

"You want to change the world? Be brave. Be you. 

Don't try to be someone else or do someone else's brave thing." (p.175)

If you follow me on Instagram you will know that most of my summer has been spent driving my daughters to and from play practice, listening to them practicing their songs endlessly  and then finally watching them perform on the stage, numerous times, in our local children's musical theater production of Willy Wonka Jr. 

The day of their first real performance, as I drove them to the theater, my 11-year old, who has done theater before, was giving her 9-year old sister, who has never been a part of a production, this advice, 
"Okay, E. Even if you feel like you're going to throw up right before the play starts, don't worry. Once you step onto the stage, it's like you went through a portal...because you won't be nervous anymore. It's great."

I'm not sure where the word "portal" came from. (Possibly The Lego Movie, but the lessons we have learned from that movie I will save for another post.) However, her perspective is right on. Once you step onto the stage, once you send that email or take that first step, you feel brave. And, that changes everything. It doesn't mean the fear is gone. It just means that you've done something about it, instead of letting it paralyze you.

"That's why we have to start. It's why we have to go first. It's why we have to be brave - 

so that others will be inspired to be brave as well.

...the real joy is when we get to be the ones who lead others to a new level of bravery." (p.171)

There are several things, personally and professionally, that I desire related to telling my story:

I want to get my book published.

I want to tell my story in front of people.

I want to be quoted.

I want others to learn how to be brave from me.

At times all of these things seem selfish to me. That's when I hesitate. When I wonder if I should pursue any of these things. I get anxious and overwhelmed by these thoughts, wondering if any of these are really in God's will for my life or if I'm just searching for recognition. If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I tend not to be selfish and the last thing I want is to be noticed or applauded. It's just embarrassing. But, writing my wants here, seeing them in print, still makes me wonder.

"The road to courage is lit by God's wisdom" (p.120)

It is only when I am still and listen to the only voice that truly matters that I am able to hear the truth. God's voice says,

Tell the story I have given you.

Encourage and disciple other women with your voice.

Speak and write truth, so that others may know me.

I may never get the exact things I want. I know that God can give me all these things. I just don't know if he will. That has to be okay. I still have to trust him. God has me on this journey for a reason. 
I just have to be brave. Then, my story can be a part of his story.

GOD made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. 

When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start. 

Indeed, I’ve kept alert to GOD ’s ways; I haven’t taken God for granted. 

Every day I review the ways he works, I try not to miss a trick. 

I feel put back together, and I’m watching my step. 

GOD rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes. 

- 2 Samuel 22:21-25 (MSG) -