Believe

In three days I will be in Austin, Texas, gathering with over 2000 women who are expecting great things from God. It is a dream realized for me. 
Nearly one year ago, as I sat at home in front of my computer, with chaos all around me, I watched women worship and speak about a God who is alive and active. A God who moves mountains and wanted me to start moving right along with him. I knew then that instead of watching at home or with a local group, I would be in Austin for IF:Gathering 2015. And, miraculously, I will be. 
The journey that God has had me on this past year is sometimes inexplicable. I have experienced restlessness and certainty, bold faith and doubt, despair and hope. Yet, in the midst of these ever-changing emotions and circumstances that were unexpected and uncertain, God was the constant. He is the variable that never changes.

This Christmas I received one of The Giving Keys. I had been wanting one for a long time and decided to put it on my Christmas list. Like a smart (and not so subtle) woman, I took a screenshot of the exact key that I wanted and sent it to my husband, so that ordering it would be seamless. However, when I opened the package on Christmas morning, it was the wrong key. I had requested BREATHE but what I got was BELIEVE.
I was disappointed. How did he get this wrong? Apparently, there had been some difficulty during the ordering process. He had tried to order the key I had requested, but due to a glitch with the website, had ended up with something different. He would send it back. We would get the right one.
But, before that happened, I watched this video about the vision behind the current IF:Equip study. The theme:  Faith. The tagline: Believe God for more. The question: What are you believing God for today?
I wanted to believe. But, I was having a hard time seeing past my current circumstances. The state of uncertainty I was in had me in a place of stress. I found myself even more fearful than I had been when God asked me to step outside of my comfort zone - to start this blog, lead a Bible study, and speak to groups of women. 
I was uncertain because my circumstances were. But, it was only uncertain to me. Not to God.

The more I reflected, read and studied, the more clear it became. The word I needed to be reminded of was BELIEVE. There had been no mistake. God had intervened. He saw to it that I had what I needed. A reminder to believe him for my present and my future. A reminder that unbelief was the root of my fears, insecurities, doubts, and despair. 
It was as if he said to me, "Rest in the uncertainty. Don't let it define you. Let me define you. Let my presence be where you are. Choose me."
Everything about God is abundant - his love, power, mercy, grace, resources, etc. Because of this, there is always more. God is the creator of the universe. So, why couldn't he do x,y,z? He can. So, I should believe that he can. I should believe him for more. You should too.
"What you believe about God is the most important thing about you." - AW Tozer
Lord, may my belief in your abundance be evident. Let my actions be a reflection of you or your activity in my own life and in the lives of others. Overwhelm me with your love, and with your spirit, so that everything else pales in comparison. May I love and live out of abundance of you. May I believe.