Home Away from Home

We spent this past weekend in our second home - Embassy Suites in Sacramento. I really don't know how many times we have visited this same hotel, but I do know when I checked in this time, the woman said, "Welcome back!" It felt a bit awkward, but it saved me from having to hear the litany of things they tell you when you check into a hotel, which I already knew.

As is typical when we visit Sacramento, we take a trip to the Railroad Museum. Last fall, we decided to get an annual pass...it just made sense. We have definitely made our money on that one! As you may guess, O loves the train museum. As many times as we have seen the trains, he can point out something new on each one, every time. The girls enjoy it too, but not as much as O. He finds such excitement in the large wheels, pistons, and various engines and freight cars, no matter how many times he has seen them.

At the Railroad Museum, they also have a play area full of Thomas tracks, trains and accessories, for kids to play with. We must visit this area first...then we take on the rest of the place.

This photo was not taken this past weekend, but during our April visit. Every time during our recent trip that I asked O, "Can I take a picture of you...?" He said, "No, thanks." Since I probably have plenty of photos of him with trains, I didn't push it. I can imagine he's thinking just that, something like...c'mon mom, we took pictures last time.

The whole weekend was like that, in terms of photos. He just wasn't interested. So, as usual, we got a lot of good pictures of the girls, but few of O. But, I did manage to get a couple of photos with him looking at the camera.

We also visited the zoo, Fairytale Town, and  several restaurants during our trip. However, the highlight of the weekend was the train ride. It was a first for all three kids. Of course, they had ridden on amusement-park type kiddie trains before, but never a "real" train. I had always been nervous about taking O on a train ride that lasted any length of time, based on his anxieties related to noise and motion. But, since he has made so much progress in these areas, we decided to try it.

We took a 40-minute scenic train ride along the Sacramento River. It was a great experience. Not only did we all get to ride a "real" train, we also got to experience the engine switching tracks and coupling up to our coach (don't you just love all of my train language?) O loved it...he was so excited to see all the train action and really enjoyed riding behind the engine! 

Here are a few photos from our train ride:

So...if you've been following my blog, you're probably expecting some life lesson or goal to come next. If you are, you would be right. I started this post as a way to document a fun, family weekend. But, I had these two thoughts as I wrote:

First, I want to be more like O. I want to experience each day as if I have never experienced it before, which, technically, I haven't. I mean, most days I stick to my same routine, especially during the school year, when I am working. Most days just seem the same. But, are they really? No. And, I shouldn't treat them as if they are. I should approach each day as O approached the train museum, looking for the new, looking at the things that I've seen numerous times, as amazing and exciting.

Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. 

Lamentations 3:23 (NLT)

Second, I can make my home anywhere. At least, my earthly home. I have only lived in two different cities during my adult life. Both of these places still feel like home to me, I am comfortable in both of them. However, these homes are not permanent, they are not my eternity, they are only temporary. I think this song by Building 429, called "Where I Belong" says it beautifully.

For this world is not our permanent home; we are looking forward to a home yet to come. 

Hebrews 13:14 (NLT)

To pull these two thoughts together...my time on this earth is short, especially when viewed in relation to eternity, so I intend to make the most of it, seeing the new of each day, but not to get overwhelmed by it!

Okay, I admit, it's easier said than done. But, it's worth try.

What's the Point?

We just finished a week of Vacation Bible School. The title of this week's VBS was, "The Jesus Expedition." Synonyms for expedition include, long journey, voyage, and trek. Here's the story of our journey...


I have worked VBS nearly every year, for as long as I can remember...at least 20 years. And, each year I've served, it's been with preschool-age children. As VBS approached this year, I found myself thinking, what's the point? Why am I doing this, again? Much of my apprehension was because I had decided that, this year, O would go to VBS with the girls and I. After all, he is 4, which is the official starting age of VBS.

But, thinking about what that meant...five late nights in a row, every night in a different room, a different craft, a different snack, a different set of people giving instructions...I thought, again, what's the point?!

Even, as I showed up the first night, and saw that there were four adults instead of the usual two, working with the preschoolers, I thought, what's my purpose? What am I doing here? It quickly became evident to me that I was there for one reason, and that was for my son. Because, he needed me. He needed me to take him to every site each night, before it was time for the group to enter. He needed me to bring him a snack that he would eat and to support him when he wanted to try something new. Being needed that much, was hard work!

There were many nights during the week that O and I both came home crying. O saying, "I don't want VBS. I want my regular church." And me, thinking, wishing he would just eat the same snack, so that he wouldn't look different. That he would just wear the shirt, so that he would look the same as all the other kids. Wondering again, why was I doing this, to both of us. Why was I putting us through this? It was one of the most challenging weeks. To watch him struggle and to work on figuring out how to help him.

But, a sobering conversation with my husband after the third night, led me to realize that although it was a struggle, it was something I had to do. That, I can't avoid life. I can't avoid things that may be difficult. And, I can't continue to limit O. Because there may be a day when he surprises us. And, even though I know that differences exist, at least I'm aware of them. I needed to work with these differences and not let them define us!

But, I also had to realize, that there may be some things that I can't do. That there may be some things that I can't change or fix. And, while I'm not going to put O in every available activity, and I'm not going to take him to every party or every event, there are times when I have to. And, there are times when I should. These are experiences he needs, that I can't recreate or make as meaningful within the context of our family of five.

And, let me tell you...at the end of the week, on Thursday night, there was a performance. Although O didn't go on that stage, with the nearly 150 other kids, and he never wore the VBS shirt, he did sit on my lap in the audience, watching the other kids sing. And, at the top of his lungs, he sang:

Jesus you alone have the power
Power over everything

Every day and ever hour

Your great power is supreme

You have power over everything

And, really, isn't that the ultimate point?

If You Have Something Nice to Say...

I don't like compliments. Actually, let me rephrase...I am very uncomfortable with compliments. While I believe that giving and receiving compliments is an important social skill, one that I teach to my students and to my own children, I have difficulty responding to kind words from others with a simple, "thank you." Instead I find myself adding, "thanks, but..." or responding with some form of sarcasm.

I realize every time, after the fact, that I have negated the compliment by adding comments about how the compliment is not completely true. Maybe it's because I don't want to appear that I have it all together. Like, if I simply accept the compliment I will be somehow saying that I have nothing more to work on.

This is not only true for personal compliments, but also where my children are concerned. I have had had people tell me that my children are "angels" or were "perfectly behaved". Honestly, even as a self-proclaimed perfectionist (see previous post), this irritates me! After all, no child or person is perfect. That's when I would say something like, "You should see them at home" or "Glad they were good for YOU."

I know this is not the best response, but it's what seems to come naturally for me. Also, when you have a child with special needs, you learn to appreciate the small things, but don't want other people to think that you've come up with a cure, or worse yet, made the whole thing up from the beginning. So saying, "He's made progress" seems to satisfy.

Ultimately, I want to be appreciated and complimented as much as the next person. I also want people to love my kids and appreciate their strengths. But, I don't want to appear over-confident or too proud.

There must be a balance to this social exchange of receiving and responding to compliments. But, I have not found it yet. It's just one more piece to this puzzle of life. So for now, I have one more goal:  Just say, "Thanks!"

I can no other answer make, but, thanks, and thanks. - William Shakespeare