Initiate. Nurture. Persevere.

Who has influenced you the most? 

This might be my least favorite question. However, it is the question for this week's Coffee and Conversation. Honestly, when I saw this question, I decided I wouldn't link up this week. I would write something else. But, God had other plans. He wanted me to answer the question.

I remember having to write essays about the "most influential person in my life" as a young student. I always struggled with what to write.

Most often I wrote about my Aunt M. I always thought she was a rock star. She seemed to have the life I wanted, at least then. I saw her as educated, successful and independent. At the time, she was not married and had no children. She had a cool car, went shopping often and took trips to the beach every summer. I remember watching her and wanting to work hard, so I could become successful, too.

While I still strive to be work hard and be successful, my perspective on that has changed over the years. I guess, I define success differently, now. My own success has come to be defined in terms of relationships.

I have always been a shy person. When I was a child, I barely spoke to those I didn't know. Honestly, that is still true. If you were to meet me in person, even after reading all of my thoughts on this blog, it would take me awhile before I felt comfortable enough to share with you. There's just something about the written word that is easier for me. Less intimidating. More secure.

That being said, I have been influenced by many people in my life related to relationships and social interaction. What have I learned from these people? Relationships require initiation, nurturing, and perseverance.

My husband has influenced the way I interact with strangers. From the barista at Starbucks to the clerk at Target. 

I don't remember when I started noticing this in him. Maybe early in our marriage. Whenever we went somewhere or I heard him talking on the phone, I noticed two things. He always called the waitress, customer service agent, etc. by their name and asked how they were. It seemed odd to me at first. But, when I started doing it myself, I noticed that people were genuinely surprised and touched by this gesture. It is sometimes uncomfortable to take this initiative, but it is worth it.

SOURCE

Growing up, our house was often full of people...friends, close family, distant relatives, foreign exchange students. Sometimes, this bugged me. There were many occasions when I had to give up or share my room, my space, with someone I didn't even know. 

In addition, my mom was always inviting those people who didn't have family nearby, to celebrate the holidays with us. I have attempted to continue this tradition, this value of nurturing relationships, with my own family, always seeking out those who may need a family to be a part of for the holidays.

When I was around 13 my Aunt M adopted a ten-year old girl. It was not an easy transition for either my aunt or my cousin. Yet, Aunt M  wanted to be a mother and had taken the challenge of raising a "hard to place" young girl, who came with her own set baggage. It was difficult and amazing! To me, this was the definition of perseverance in relationship.

God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. 

This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasures. 

Ephesians 1:5

Influence is the process of producing effects on the actions, behavior, opinions, etc. of others. There have been many people in my life who, by their very nature, have impacted my actions, behaviors and opinions. These are just a few. 

What people or experiences have influenced you? How have you changed because of their influence?


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