I Wasn't There. He Was.

Missed opportunities. Failed attempts. Feelings of inadequacy, again.

Because, I wasn't there. I wasn't available for a friend, when she needed me. What if I would have been? What ifs, again.

I am one of those people that takes on the burdens of others. I want to help. I want to be used by God.

Jesus said, "Come to me all who are weary...I will give you rest."

He didn't say, "Go to your friends." Although, we tend to take their burdens.

He said, "I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

He didn't say, "Your friends will be available to you always." He can do so much more than we can even imagine.

I must remember. It is not me doing the real work. I am a servant of God. I am simply a vessel that He chooses to use, at times. He certainly can do it on His own, without me.

So, while I wish I would've been there, could have answered my phone for that important phone call, I wasn't. I can't change it. There must have been a reason for it.

Today at church, I was reminded of the different names for God. He is known as the healer, provider, and creator. However, the two that struck me the most were El Roi and Immanuel. The God who sees me and God with us. The God of this universe sees our situations, he knows our hurts, our afflictions. And, He is with us, daily. He is present, always.

I am confident that I will be chosen again. That God will use me at some other point in the future. Although I still feel guilty for being unavailable when needed by a friend, I don't think I missed an opportunity, or even that I failed. If I am presented with a chance to minister, and deny God the opportunity to work through me, only then have I missed it.

But, the truth is, I have been and continue to be willing to take advantage of those opportunities. I have been seeking them out. Maybe God needed to reestablish for me that He is the one that is working. Possibly, through me. Or, through someone or something else.

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. - 2 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT)