Peace is Fair

I have been having many it's not fair moments lately. 

Most  of these moments have been related to O.

For example, 

it's not fair that we can't run out of shampoo without him freaking out about using a different one.

It's not fair that he doesn't want to go to his own preschool graduation simply because they are serving ice cream. He doesn't like ice cream. And, food he doesn't like makes him anxious.

It's not fair that there is often no real indicator that he is getting sick. Odd patterns of eating, sleeping and behavior are the norm.

It's not fair when people, some who are very close to us, misunderstand and minimize his differences.

Some other not fair things...

It's not fair that my dryer died. Especially the day before O gets sick and various bedding, clothes, and towels need to be washed. 

It's not fair that one of our water heaters broke and all five of us have been forced to relocate to the same bathroom for our showers, etc for the past week.

I have been trying to pull myself out of this rut, but it seems that each time I adapt to one of these unfair moments, another one quickly arises.

Today, I am responding to all of my whining and complaining with a phrase that I use with my students and my own children all the time...

fair does not mean equal

Fair simply means that each person gets what they need at a given time. 

Life isn't fair in the sense that it's the same for everyone. 

But, it is fair if we look at what we need.

Even if we don't like it or are overwhelmed with it at times, it is exactly what we need. 

It's fair.

Isn't peace like this too? 

It's not the same for everyone or at every point in your life, but it is available to each of us, based on what we need.

One of the questions from this week's Coffee and Conversation is:

What's the meaning behind your blog title and why? 

Peace it all Together. 

What does that mean?

Shortly after I began writing this blog, I wrote a post to describe my definition of peace. You can read the post in its entirety here.

I am going to reprint my favorite portions of that post today, because I think it describes why I am writing this blog and what the title means to me.

*** From Pieces to Peaceful - April 13, 2012 Do you ever feel like you're in pieces? Like the whole picture is not clear? Do you struggle to understand  how the people, circumstances, and emotions of life fit together?

If so, you are a lot like me. I  go through each day with a desire to fit the pieces together, to make peace with all the pieces of my life. Although this is a daunting task, it would be a lot easier if I understood what that word peace really means...

...after all this research, I determined that peace is difficult to achieve. It's a lot easier to be filled to anxiety or uneasiness than it is to be filled with peace. Then I realized, peace is only difficult because I frequently attempt to gain it on my own. Doesn't it make more sense to go to the one who is called the Prince of Peace to ask for help? Jesus said in John 14:27,

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. 

Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (NIV) 

I read once that this peace does not mean an absence of conflict or trial, but rather the ability to keep it together during those times. That is what I desire, the ability to exhibit calmness and confidence during times of trouble, whether big or small. And, that kind of peace has been given to me. All I have to do is accept it. 

***

This is Peace it all Together. The place where I attempt to make peace with the pieces of my life.

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