Aches and Pains

Monday was a difficult day at work. Some days, I work with students who have little to no control over their behavior. Monday was one of those days. 

It would not be fair for me to share details. But, what I can say is that Monday was both physically and emotionally draining and damaging.

The funny thing is, I was okay when I was at work. It wasn't until I got home and tried to get settled into the evening routine that I found myself just wanting to be alone. 

There was a delay in the pain. The aches of the day took several hours to appear. 

I liken this to exercise.

On Saturday, I walked three miles. The past few weekends I had only walked two miles. But, this past Saturday, I needed the extra mile. While, it took longer and I was a bit more tired than after the two miles, I didn't really notice a marked difference until the next day. It was on Sunday, that my muscles began to ache and my body felt the effects of that extra mile.

On days like Monday, it is impossible for me to leave what happens at work, at work. It is on days like these that I feel the most inadequate. I have not succeeded at work. I have not shown love at home. It is not fair.

This is what I have noticed about most Mondays. Because of the stress and trauma that I experience at work, I am less than who I should be for my family at home, in the evenings. I notice that I am less patient, more irritable, less tolerant, and easily angered. 

So, how do I prepare for the aches and pains of a rough day that work, that I know will plague me once I get home?

I can search for perspective. It's just one day. Not a lifetime. The bruises and soreness will pass. The weight of the emotions will lighten. 

I can wait. I should delay each and every response to my family, so that I can evaluate it. I need to determine if I am responding to my own children, or the children that have caused me pain that day.

I can pray. God knows what I need, and I should really be asking Him to deliver me from my aches and pains. Or, if deliverance is not an option, I should be asking for a way to push these damages aside, so that I can be present for my family, in a genuinely loving way.

Similar to the pains of exercise, which help to build muscle and keep me healthy and fit, the pains of life are of benefit to me as well. They help shape me and teach me things that I may not have otherwise learned.

I need to remember these things.