Overloaded

That's how I've been feeling lately. Overloaded. I've been content, but not overjoyed. Not really stressed or frazzled. More like a washing machine that has been filled beyond it's capacity. Sluggish and working inefficiently. 

If I could only get more organized. Write a list of things I need as they run out, instead of relying on my failing memory once I get to the store. 

If only I could look at my calendar at least a week in advance, instead of checking each day as it comes.

M ordered me my favorite flowers for Mother's Day. Tulips. They arrived in a box. I had never received flowers in a box before.

There were at least two dozen purple tulips that had been denied sunlight or water for as long as it took them to be shipped from their original destination. They were not dead, but they had not yet reached their full potential. Still beautiful. Still loved. But, a little sad and droopy.

This has been me. I'm here. I'm functioning. I'm staying connected to God, to my family, and this blog. I'm still writing. Yet, I have put myself in a box. The box is filled with stuff. But, is there anything there that is providing me light, nourishment or strength?

Most days, I'm not sure I even know what it is that I need. The only thing I am certain of is that it is constantly changing. Maybe I need...more time in the Bible, more exercise, more meaningful conversation with my family, more cuddles with my kiddos. Or maybe I need to be...making lunches in the evenings, following a budget, giving myself a manicure, planning and cooking meals. 

I want to be filled with life. Not beyond my capacity, but to my and it's fullest potential. I know that I can't be everything to everyone every day. Maybe I just need to be something to some one every day. Some days that someone may be me. 

Several months ago, I started a study on prayer. One of the main principles that I took from that study was this:  "we get what we ask for, when we ask according to God's will." In other words, before you start rambling off your requests to God, ask Him to reveal what He wants for you. 

This same theme has come through in the emails I have been receiving from Ashley as part of the 40-day challenge. She reminds us, almost daily, to seek the Lord's wisdom, His love and His desires for our lives, above and before all else.

My goal is to start doing this daily, multiple times. To ask God what He desires for me for that day, that moment. 

How can I be filled today, Lord? What is it that will nourish and sustain me, without making me feel overloaded?

AFTER LESS THAN 24 HOURS EXPOSED TO LIGHT AND WATER, MY TULIPS LOOKED MUCH DIFFERENT.
THEY WERE EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL. THEY HAD BEEN TRANSFORMED.

***

I wrote this post on Sunday afternoon, but didn't have time to add the pictures, edit and post it. 

I woke up Monday morning and decided to try doing Monday a little different. I started the day by asking God what He had planned for me. I asked him to tell me, show me, reveal to me His plan for the day.

I felt so much lighter. The weight of the day was no longer on me. I didn't have to decide what to do or when and how to do it. It was revealed to me throughout the day. Motivation returned. Tasks were accomplished. I was filled, but not over-full.

Now, the challenge...continue seeking God's plan for each day, within the big and the small.

Seek God's will in all you do and He will show you the path to take. 

Proverbs 3:6